Five Lessons for 18 Year Old Me in 2005: Reflecting on 20 years since graduating high school.
My 20 year high school reunion is coming up and recently it got me thinking about what I was like at 18 years old. Comparing who I was then to who I am now, and how all the events along the way shaped me. It feels like a lifetime ago just as much as it feels like yesterday.
Here are five things I would tell my 18 year old self about life:
1.) Learn how you operate. Not how you think you should operate. Not how you wish you would operate. Not what other people say is the best way to operate. There are aspects about your personality, your behaviors, your ways of thinking that are core to who you are. Some may change or evolve over time, some may fade, some will become more prominent, most will always be there in some form. Figure out how you operate without trying to be in control all of the time. Pay attention to the ways you are “wired.” THEN, instead of creating your life around “how the most successful executives start their day", tailor your life to how YOU operate. You can save yourself a lot of frustration from trying to force yourself to being something you are not.
2.) The reason you feel different from most people your age, is because you are. It feels like a burden, but it’s really your superpower. Lean in to it.
Spoiler alert: You have ADHD. It explains so much. Learn what it really is because it’s not an attention deficit disorder. Your brain operates in a way that clashes with the way aspects of our society are structured. This is not a bad a thing, in fact it can be a really great thing, but first you have to be aware and then you have to learn how you operate. Until you do, you’re navigating life with a broken compass.
3.) Adults will tell you what worked for them. They are them. They are not you. They graduated college before the internet. They know nothing about how society is evolving. Thank them for the advice. Take what is applicable and modify it for yourself. When you learn how you operate, you’re going to realize that you have no choice but to create a life that works for you.
4.) Let go of expectations and enjoy the journey of it all. Absolutely nothing about the next 20 years will go as planned. It’s going to be amazing.
5.) Love yourself unconditionally. Especially the parts of you that you wish you could change. That receding hairline? You’re shaving your head at 24 That closet door? It’s not a phase. The right woman doesn’t exist for you pal. You’re coming out of the closet in 2009. It’s the single greatest decision of your life. You have nothing to be ashamed of and the only thing about you that needs to change is the way you treat yourself.
When you grow from an overly self-shaming/critical mindset to one of self-love, you embody your true and authentic self. You take ownership of your self-worth and realize how easily and cheaply you gave it to other people. You find a belief and trust in yourself that could only exist when you love who you are. Life’s possibilities get bigger, and you get stronger. Seriously, this is the one life you have. Love yourself through all of it.
Extras to consider:
6.) Meditate. Learn what it really is, and just make it a part of your day.
7.) How you think, is how you live. Pay attention to your thoughts.
8.) You are not your thoughts. Think about that one.
9.) The Food Pyramid was a Lie. Most “food” is poison. Do your research. ;)
10.) Stop wasting your time following politics. The media lies to you. The government has been bought by corporations. Whatever the “debate” is, its manufactured. Spend your time doing the things you love.
11.) Care less about being right and more about what is true.
One more thing… I could use some help with this. Maybe you want to be a part of making it happen?
In the works is a concert series. Imagine something in the spirit of NPR’s Tiny Desk Concerts but performed and recorded live in my studio’s acoustically treated immersive installation Surrender and Smile. It’s not just about listening. It’s about being surrounded, with color, light, and sound stitched together into one experience.
This is happening, it’s a matter of time and resources. There are opportunities for you to support my creative events beyond purchasing artwork and tickets. I think it would be so neat to have local businesses, organizations, or creative champions support the arts by sponsoring this concert series. Contact me for details if this interests you.
Surrender & Smile - Immersive installation
This is just the beginning.
The studio is open most days (artist hours folks), you can pop-in, but I suggest you schedule a visit.
